Poetry by Nixie

It's another day just like the others.
Ending in red.
How I wish it wasn't like this.
I wish I could end it.
My dad doesn't care.
My mom, she isn't here.
It looks like i'm going to end it tonight.

I went outside to make a bigger scene
A bullet in my gun beneath the apple tree I cock it Write a few notes.
and put it to my temple
I subconciously look up

The sky starts crying
I realize how impulsive this is
I've only lived for fourteen years!

Kurt Cobain, he was my hero
died 3 months before my birth
I wanted to end it like he did
On my own accord
but now, i realize
There is so much more that is planned out for me.

I look down at my wrists
covered in blood and white lace.
the scars open everyday
why?
my life sucks
that's not a good reason to bleed
yes it is
Am I losing it?

I hate me
but I love them
I want to live again

I walk back into the building
the one I thought i wouldn't return to
I drift across the hall
my eyes trace the walls
they land on a book

They've always had it
They never used it
I never believed
I need it so much more now than ever

I take it to my room and open it
The smell of dust and abandonment haunts it I see that we have a kinship its pages are so small and fragile just like me I always thought it was fiction

Stories of Him overwelm me
I slam it shut
and I breakdown
I look up again
on the ceiling, my blood is like paint
I STILL HATE YOU
It makes me cry harder

It's my darkest hour
I call for Him
I say one word
"Help"
I wait a second, and repeat it
"Help"

A bliss slowly takes over me
It reassured me
I asked it to forgive me
Like a friend
He did

A poem by Nixie from Virginia