Mission FireFly » Stories » Faith

Holding On

      When 15 year old Rainie Harrison loses her father to lung cancer, she doesn’t know what to do. Her mother dies a long time ago, and she is sent to live with her grandmother, who she has not seen since her mother’s funeral. Rainie blames herself for what happened to her father. Then, Tristan moves in next door, with his own tragic story, and she discovers that there is, in fact, Someone you can hold on to no matter what happens in life. Join Rainie as she discovers love, regains her hope, learns the true power of belief, and most of all, receives the strength to finally forgive herself.

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       It rained on the day of my father’s funeral. I’m glad it was a storm, so people did not linger long to offer me those fake “oh, you poor girl” looks of sympathy I’ve been getting since Dad was diagnosed with lung cancer a few months ago.
       I guess it kind of fits, since my name is Rainie, but still, it is a sad peace offering for what was taken from me. 
      I should have known it was something more serious than just tiredness or a cold. I should have been able to tell that it was not just regular fevers and coughing. I should have made Dad go see a doctor. But I didn’t.
      Maybe I was too afraid that something would be wrong with him, that something would happen to him, and I would have no one. Dad tried to hide it from me, and I pretended not to notice. Then something did happen, and now he’s gone.
      I wish I could tell him I’m sorry. Sorry that I didn’t take care of him. Sorry that I broke my last promise to Mom.
       Sorry that I was a failure as their daughter.

      I stay at my friend Kimmie’s house for the next few days, sleeping in her room and staring out the window the rest of the time, wondering what it was that I had done wrong. I was like some kind of disease- everyone I grew close to died. Maybe it would be better for everyone if I was just locked in a cage somewhere so I wouldn’t kill any more people.
      Kimmie’s whole family was really good about not talking about what had happened, though occasionally I would catch Mrs. Johnson looking sadly at me. I refused to meet her gaze. I didn’t want to talk, and I didn’t need anyone’s sympathy. My own grief was enough.
      It was a Tuesday, I think, when Kimmie came into her room. “Someone’s here for you.” She whispered, eyes large. Everyone was creeping around me these days. I nod without saying anything and go downstairs, wincing as I pass the bathroom mirror and glimpse my own reflection, the word ‘monster’ immediately coming to mind.
      At the door was a professional looking woman, beaming at me like I was the best thing she had seen in her life.
      “Hi, Rainie! How are you today?” Her smile is so fake, like the doctor’s at the hospital when he came out to tell me about Dad’s cancer.
      I’m a big girl; I can take whatever you’re really thinking! I can take the truth. Just say it.
      The lady, however, does not get my telepathic message. Instead, she takes in my disheveled appearance- wrinkled t shirt, torn jeans, tangled hair, and makeup-less face. Her smile drops for a moment before she forces her red lip-sticked mouth to curve back up. I know I look terrible, but I don’t care anymore. Nothing matters anymore.
      “I’m Sara Kline, of the children social services.” She introduces herself, “We’ve found you a new home, Rainie. Isn’t that exciting?”
      “What?” I’m not sure if I heard her right. New home? When did this happen?
       “Your legal guardian is now your grandmother. Arrangements have already been made by her. You are to leave at once.”
What happened after was all a blur. I recall Kimmie giving me a hug goodbye, and me wondering if I even HAD a grandmother. Before I can even ask, “Who decided this?” my bags were packed and I was in the car in a heartbeat, on my way to God knows where.